About

Hello beautiful humans! I am a woman in my 27th year who was raised in the forests of Virginia with the name given to me by my mother, Olivia. This is but a fragment of who I am. Over the past 7 or so years, I have embarked on a spiritual journey toward finding out who I am and how I am going to fulfill my life’s purpose. These words are loaded with concepts and societally conditioned beliefs behind them – but I would like to take a moment to strip all of that away, to the bone of the meaning. Disregarding race, social status, religious label, political stance, or whether or not you are a good driver, the one thing that every single person has in common is their soul consciousness. What I am referring to is the shared life force energy that flows within us all; that is the ultimate source of who you truly are. Therefore, who you are is the same as the person next to you, and everyone else in the world. By finding this truth, one is able to realize that they are in fact, all. And therefore any injustice that you create or partake in, by universal law, is doing that harm to yourself also. Unfortunately, society has become so wrapped in the grips of maintaining and fulfilling the ego that we have become blind to this truth.

Growing up in America, I was blessed with the privilege to be able to grow up in a family that was, although “broken” by society’s standards, still lovingly raised by four parents. I was given all of the opportunities I could have asked for. As I grew and became independent, I realized that I had the ability to choose the way I want my life to unfold – out of endless possibilities. There were many times when the thought of being able to choose was overwhelming, so I began to fall back on human nature – of mimicking those around me: those who have jobs that drain them but pay the bills, those who are married but do it because it seems like the most logical next step in a relationship. Or those who have kids out of a dutiful responsibility to continue the family name. It seems as though all lives are being lived from a perspective that feeds only the ego. Where was the passion? The creation? The LOVE? Where were the people who were carving their own path, making their own dreams come true, fulfilling their UNIQUE life purpose? Where were the people who craved genuine connections, people whose mission was to make the earth a better place to live? People who fully believed in the power of the unified Spirit of goodness and love? More importantly, those who could hold the frequency of Love while challenging those around them to higher and higher levels of consciousness?

After graduating from college with a B.S. in Environmental Science, I felt myself falling into those exact traps. The job that barely paid the bills, the relationships that, although unfulfilling, temporarily filled a void within me. When I was single I found myself reeling, internally seeking a partner, never satisfied with going home alone on a Friday night. Longing the company and forgetting completely about myself and who I was becoming and how, with each self destructive decision, that person was becoming further and further away from who I really wanted to be. And yet, I allowed myself to center my entire existence around the next potential candidate for the position of Soul Mate. In reality (and it took years for me to finally realize and accept this), it was me all along.

In my early twenties, my awakening process began. I started to realize how I had felt asleep for the better part of my young life, I saw the truth about the world we live in, the way society is programmed to behave, and how I am the ultimate creator of my reality. It all started with the simple concept of awareness. I became aware of the world within and around me, in a way I had previously never been. An inner knowing that would manifest as a thought, feeling or even a voice in my head became my ultimate guidance system. I began learning concepts and gaining insight faster than I could write them down, and I later realized that this is considered by many in the spiritual world to be “channeling” of higher wisdom from Source / my higher self. I found that these channelings would happen in cycles, I would feel that I learned enough about a certain subject or have understood past trauma from a higher perspective to the brink of completion, and then the insights would slow down until I felt that they weren’t happening at all. At times I would begin to feel that I had lost my entire guidance system altogether, and I would reach a place of desperation. During these “low” times (life is all about cycles of light and dark, yin and yang), I would call out to Source and ask again that I would receive guidance, and like a charm – the channeling would begin again, and I would reach an even deeper level of understanding than previously attained. It was incredible – this was, and still is, the way my inner world works.

During these years, I was in and out of relationships that served as stepping stones on my path. Each contained a range of wisdom and important lessons learned, and I began to understand that is the way a soul evolves – not just romantically speaking, but in every aspect of life. I began to understand that at each level of your soul’s evolution – there is a soul mate for you. And each event, whether or not it is deemed tragic or joyous, is packed with lessons that force your eyes open so you are able to see yourself, reflect on and analyze your traits and behaviors from a new perspective. Again, it all starts with awareness.

I began to see that I was much more than the labels given to me by society. I was also the wisdom that was so intensely engrained in me, to the point where I began to detach from these labels as they did not hold the same meanings as before. Instead, I felt called to tap into what expanded my consciousness. I felt that at this point there was no returning to “normal” life. I knew that I could not happily live a settled life, that I was too far down the path toward my higher purpose – although not making any sense to my logical brain, I began to look back on the societally conditioned life I used to live less and less. Everything in my reality became filtered through the lens of awareness with the main focus being – does this serve my highest purpose? Does this come from a place of Love?

Love is the ultimate universal frequency that is the Source of all creation – and destruction.

During my mid-twenties, I reached a level of awareness that allowed me to understand how I have suffered from bouts of anxiety and depression my whole life. I was never one to label my mental health with such loaded, finite terms, but becoming aware of my symptoms allowed me to understand why I handled certain situations the way I did, and helped me come to peace with them. This self-diagnosis was somewhat of a double-edged sword, however, because when the anxious or depressive emotions would return, I began to think “oh, I am anxious now” or “oh, today I am depressed” and to put such concrete labels on such abstract emotions only seemed to exacerbate the symptoms and wasn’t helping me overcome them. I would allow myself to wallow for too long in those uncomfortable states, and I am still learning when to pull myself out of them, detach and move forward. This is where the wisdom of balance comes in handy. Balance and moderation are two very interconnected and important lessons to master in order to live a life that is full. It has also been a blessing to have a very loving and aware partner who can sense when I am entering into those unhealthy mind states and pull me out of them. I have found that although a painful process, is important to allow others to see your shadows, because no one should ever have to fight them alone. It is an incredible testament to those who do, however, and I will always be amazed at the strength of will they have. But to let others help you fight your demons is not to discount your own inner strength.

That leads me into how I met (or, re-met) the man I am still with to this day, one who sees me for who I really am, loves me in every way I never knew I needed, who helps me to remove the masks and walls I unconsciously placed on myself starting in my teenage years. We had initially met my junior year of college one night when he was visiting his friend, a night which I unfortunately don’t remember much of…if you catch my drift. We would run into each other off and on for the next four or so years, and I always saw him as a great person and friend, but not anything more. On May 25, 2018, my best friend and I took a spontaneous day trip to Richmond, VA. Katie and I are highly connected souls (we sometimes joke about being conjoined twins in a past life) and we were riding on the high flying disc that day (Abraham Hicks fans, you know). I decided to get a small tattoo on the inside of my right forearm, one that represented committing myself and my life to Love, starting with myself. After the appointment, I felt pulled to explore the city more. We found that there was live music happening on Brown’s Island, so we couldn’t NOT go to that on a beautiful late-spring night. The entire time I was there I felt restless, as though something big was about to happen but I didn’t know what. After a song, I decided to walk to the restroom (okay fine, they were porta potties) as the sun was setting. BOOM – like an angelic being emerging from a portal, there he was. To any other person, it was just a man coming out of a portapotty. But I was having that moment that I dreamed I would have ever since I knew what love was. When did he get so tall? So tan? Muscles? Tattoos? What? My mind was reeling. I was hoping he would remember me but I tried to play it cool. I yelled out “hey! Remember me?” He looked around, confused, then saw me and flashed a brilliant smile and walked toward me with open arms (cue heart racing). We embraced like old friends and started small talking. I honestly have no idea what I said during that conversation, because my mind was having a sidebar with my heart. How come I never saw him as a potentially perfect candidate before this moment? What had changed? I realize now, that on the same the day I met the love of my life is the very same day I fully committed to living my life with Love.

Fast forward two wonderful, short-yet-long, full of life years and I still actively choose to commit every day toward loving myself and loving him. Yes, there have been rough patches, but never ones that came between our love for each other. He has this amazing way of holding space for me when I am struggling through low periods, being a sturdy redwood tree in a windstorm, one I can lean against and gather strength under to pull myself up again. He helped me learn how to heal myself in this way, not through coddling and sympathy. He was simply there, sending me love through his presence and reminding me that nothing is permanent.

Depression and anxiety, I found, are more common than I thought. This helped me to not feel so alone in my suffering. But I also learned that I had to disassociate from these often overly-diagnosed terms in order to rise above them, defining them instead as natural cycles of high and low energy periods – each with lessons hidden behind the uncomfortable feelings. This is not, however, to discount allowing yourself to be aware of the way you feel. The key is to be aware at a loving, compassionate angle, instead of one that is harsh or judgmental.

Despite how high or low I was, it seemed had strengthened my intuitive voice to the loyal level of a golden retriever. In other words, it never left my side. No matter how loud the anxiety yelled or how helpless my depressive thoughts became, I realized that those thoughts did not define me – I knew, deep within, that my intuition was the only true voice. And from this place, I drew my inner strength and my ultimate guidance system for finding out who I am.